Category

Emotional Intelligence
One of the main ways we feel close to other people is by bonding over common interests, but what do you do when you want to bond over something that you don’t have in common? Is there someone in your life who you care deeply about, who is passionate about something that you aren’t? Since...
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How can we grow closer to others? By reciprocating trust and respect. In other words, I need to know that you have my back, and you have to feel that I believe in you. This is why giving and receiving good news is so beneficial for relationships (for more, see How to Be Great at...
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What do you do when you really want to share a personal achievement with someone but there’s a conflict? It can greatly intensify our pleasure and satisfaction to celebrate a success with someone else. How can you enjoy that, without appearing arrogant or off-putting? In our first How to Be Great at Relating blogpost, Carlos...
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Has someone else’s good news ever made you feel bad about yourself? Even if you are glad for their happiness, it can be tough to admit that you aren’t 100% thrilled. In high school, some friends of mine decided to do early decision to college. I remember one of them coming to me (I’ll call...
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In the TV show The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Kimmy advises her friend Titus to feign listening to something boring by imagining that the speaker’s mouth and eyes are flipped. Kimmy claims that this makes her appear interested (or morbidly fascinated), but this distracting fantasy certainly does NOT help her to listen! That’s because it’s all...
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Imagine that you really want to tell someone something that is important to you. Picture telling the whole story to a friend (we’ll call her Gwen) who lets you tell your tale unhurried from beginning to end. Gwen faces you, leaning in and making eye contact, her facial expressions and gestures perfectly responsive to your...
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